Fertility is not a straight line. It’s never been a straight line. It’s a cycle – and you are part of that cycle.
You are part of the natural rhythm of the world. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening and then it’s the moon’s turn to go from fingernail to full. The tides shift, plants grow in their right season with the right amount of sunlight and rainfall in the right soil. Everything has its timing. You are no different.
For fertility to happen – not just the physical mechanics of it, but the energetic readiness for it – everything needs to be in its right place. That means learning to accept that you are part of a cycle, not pushing through a process.
Tuning Into the Cycle of Nature
One of the simplest ways to recognise this is to notice the moon phases at night. Pay attention when it waxes full. Notice how a full moon affects moods; you’ve probably heard about people behaving erratically, dogs barking more, and the energy running high. That’s because the moon’s energy is at its peak, and you’re affected by it too.
Tune into your own moods with the same attention.
Notice your period; what day one feels like, how day two is different. Notice how it affects your energy, your sense of self, your physicality.
Notice how available you are to others; whether you want to show up for your job, your relationships, your family and friends, or whether you really want to withdraw and take care of yourself in a quiet way of staying at home, resting, reading, being in your own company and at the heart of it, honouring your body, especially when your period seems anti-everything to what you are currently burning for.
Your period can be a purging time to experience a letting-go process that is as old as time, as painful as that might be. Allow yourself the full recognition that you are part of nature’s cycles and the space to rest and recover from these monthly exertions.
When you start to slow down into the rhythm of day and night, you can enjoy your life without obsessing about when you’re going to fall pregnant.
The belief that if you just did this or pushed yourself harder or stressed yourself more, you’d become pregnant – that’s not how it works.Becoming pregnant isn’t a matter of pushing yourself harder, stressing yourself more, or believing that a single action will make it happen. That’s simply not how fertility operates.
The Impact of Stress
The continuous stress you experience, both physically and energetically, diminishes the likelihood of conception. Your endocrine and reproductive systems perceive this high stress as a threat, concluding that a pregnancy would simply be an unsustainable additional burden on your system. Consequently, conception is blocked.
The key is to interrupt this disruptive cycle and introduce a more calming mood. Pause. Breathe deeply. Shift your focus away from the stress and reconnect with the parts of your life that bring you genuine enjoyment. Actively seek ways to simply decelerate and calm your pace.
Finding Emotional Equilibrium
Think of your mood as a line. On the far left is negativity, and on the far right is intense positivity. The goal is to stay in the middle, a neutral space where you can acknowledge both extremes without getting stuck in either. Remaining in this middle ground is far less draining than constantly striving for extreme positivity or sinking into negativity.
When you’re deeply anxious about fertility and conception delays, you are often pulled far to the extreme of anxiety, which is firmly negative. This state is uncomfortable and doesn’t signal to your body that things are settled enough to support conception, much less a pregnancy.
Practices for Simplicity
Remember the benefit of a deep, comfortable, respectful breath. We often fail to grant ourselves this small but significant gesture of self-respect. Respect begins within; it is an assessment we must first make for ourselves.
Take a moment for a respectful breath. Notice the sound and the feeling of it. Pause right now, as I am while writing this, and allow yourself this moment of mindful stillness. Savour it.
This simple act is an accessible way to slow down, be more thoughtful, and approach all your actions with greater consideration.
Extend this same kindness to your meals. While it may feel challenging, observe each mouthful, the preparation process, and how the food is arranged on your plate. Sit down and truly stop. Offer some form of thanks, the logic behind old-fashioned prayers, for the food, the people in your life, your body, and this very moment of being able to sit and eat.
These small moments of appreciation are respectful, restorative practices that give you emotional equilibrium. They restore the balance in your body where, at some point, your systems align and recognise they’re ready.
Ready to Slow Down?
If you’re exhausted from the urgency and ready to explore what slowing into your cycle might look like, I’d love to support you. Book a session or listen to my upcoming fertility podcasts where we’ll explore how stress impacts your reproductive cycle and what nervous system regulation actually means for conception.