Fertility can be a real crisis point in some women’s lives and their partners, when conception does not happen as desired or expected. Unexplained fertility drags out the pain of not conceiving and extends that crisis point into an ongoing struggle of feeling letdown (to put it mildly) in various ways, particularly in themselves. This internal struggle of ‘why is this happening’ and ‘what can I do about it now’ is often the very antithesis of what not to do!
Fertility counselling is a specialised form of counselling that encourages a woman to open to herself, to acknowledge the grieving that she may experience with each monthly bleed, and to explore internal resources to become more fertile, willing and patient.
Why see a Therapist?
A counsellor supports the client’s intention to feel better again, to alleviate their current distress and to look for answers to make a difference.
We all get the irony of not seeing the (broader) view when we are stuck in a forest. Counselling helps to broaden the view, and to step out of the place of stuckness to look for fresher options.
Each person is unique and requires an approach that is tailored to their specific needs and goals. I have found that a multi-modal approach is the most effective way to create change. I use hypnosis, ego states therapy and mindfulness-based practices, within a solid foundation of counselling and psychotherapy approaches to achieve results.
Medical research – shows that specific to reproduction there are various factors that contribute positively to a woman being responsive to conceiving. Conception is more than just a physical event taking place in a receptive body between egg and sperm. The real driver is the state of a woman’s mental health and wellbeing which really do hold ‘the show’ together, in that her mental, emotional, psycho-social and spiritual factors are the key to making effective change happen.
Bringing about hormonal balance – comes from a woman making internal changes to the way she thinks, feels and behaves. That may mean – if she’s committed to conceiving as healthily as she can, and conception either hasn’t happened within a reasonable period of time (say 1-2 years), or she’s precontemplating conception at a ‘get ready’ phase, then she will need to rethink and redo the manner of her current lifestyle, such as – reduce her stress levels, improve her nutrition status and focus more meaningfully on a simpler life (for the time-being anyway).
When all of that is consistent over time (the implemented changes), say 90 days of an egg’s cycle, she has the chance to improve both her egg quality, and her chances of conceiving a healthy baby.
For those committed to the path of increased fertility, read on...
Apart from improving the health of your eggs, what else can you do to improve your state of mind and healthy body? Let’s begin with the mind first. A thought begets a feeling and a feeling begets an action or behaviour. That is the order of stimulus and behaviour.
A common example is being triggered by an ad on the telly for say, chocolate, thinking “yummy chocolate” which segues into “I feel like chocolate (yummy, YUMMMMY)”. And next moment you are actively looking for (behaviour) chocolate to consume.
A restless mind – is often one that is busy all the time, taken up with a busy work life, busy social life and busy in thinking about all sorts of things, relevant or not. A busy mind is often confused with an active mind. An overly busy mind is one that doesn’t know how to rest, to not think all the time, and is more likely to be functioning on the edge of healthy reserves. In our current worldFurther stress can easily become accumulative stress, as in unexpected events (death of a family member or friend, loss of job or relationship, moving house, miscarriage etc); these accumulative events, without sufficient time to satisfactorily resolve them, can deplete an already depleted body and mind and push a person with insufficient support to the edge of a nervous disorder.
Anxiety – is so commonplace these days in describing a person’s set of thoughts or mindset, that it has lost some of its intended punch, to the point where ‘nervous breakdown’ has reclaimed some of that lost ground of actual intended meaning. We get anxious when waiting for our bus to arrive, waiting for our favourite team to score or not score, talking to someone new. So many experiences that make us feel anxious and inadequate about our ability to be responsive. It almost seems as if there is an epidemic in being anxious, which unfortunately, is supported by growing statistical evidence. Modern life is stressful. Both true yet somewhat ridiculous!
Let’s see what we can do about it.
Mindfulness is a state of mind – a clear and calm state of mind that can take some time to achieve, with daily practise to maintain, implement, enjoy and reap the benefits of in your daily life. Mindfulness is a learnt style of meditation, using primarily the breath, as the primary focus and anchor, to still the mind of restless thinking. This focussed method of concentration, helps ‘steady’ the mind and promotes greater clarity of awareness and insight. Hence, mindfulness is also called ‘insight’ meditation.
Meditative breathing is natural breathing. Nothing complicated or mysterious about that. Except a lot of us have forgotten how to breathe simply and naturally, which is where it starts to get complicated! Watch a young baby lie on their back and see the distension of their abdomen, as they just breathe. That’s natural breathing and our natural state of ease.
Chest breathing, especially upper chest is a shallow type of breath, more simply – a panic and anxious breath! How many people do you know who breathe like that?
There are various forms or styles of meditation to suit a person; with the primary intention being, to reclaim your natural breath, improve your health and wellbeing, and make it an ongoing and active part of your life.
There are various studies and statistics that show the benefits of meditation:
- In both reducing and managing stress, from daily natural stresses to anxiety and some types of depression
- Reducing high blood pressure, hypertension
- Aiding childbirth
- Reducing both acute and chronic pain sufferers
- And for enhanced performance in any activity you can think of (with no exaggeration meant).
There are various schools of meditation offering group mindfulness or other types of meditation courses that are all equally beneficial to the person.
Or you may benefit from learning mindfulness techniques as part of various psychological services. Contact Claire to find out more…
The Healing Practice
129b Balmain Road
Leichhardt, Sydney NSW 2040
M: 0438 216 351